How to Make Separation Easier For Your Family

We can all agree that separation is no easy feat for couples, especially when there are children involved. Unfortunately, thousands of children experience the trauma of separation and divorce on a daily basis. When left undealt with, the stress of separation can often lead to low esteem, sadness, anger and even aggression in children. This is why it is crucial that parents take active measures to help a child cope with the sudden changes that are occuring in their life. From family mediation services to counselling, today we look at 5 ways you can make separation easier for your family. Read on to find out more. 

1. Break The News Gently

No child likes to find out that their parents aren’t getting along, which is why breaking the news of your separation gently is paramount. Although there is no easy way to do this, it is important that both parents sit down and take the time to explain the situation to children in a calm and collected manner. One of the most important things is to leave feelings of anger, betrayal, guilt or blame out of the conversation entirely. Considering it is not uncommon for children to blame themselves when parents split it, it is vital for parents to reassure a child that the separation is in no way their fault. 

2. Validate Feelings

Instead of letting your child’s feelings and frustrations bottle up, parents should take the initiative to try and encourage a child to express their feelings, emotions, frustrations and anger about the separation. It is not uncommon for a child to act up soon after hearing the news of separation, so do your best to keep calm and continue to support your child along the way. Child psychologists also recommend that you let your child ask as many questions as he or she needs, no matter how difficult it may be to answer some of them. Clear, honest and transparent communication is key – your child doesn’t have to know the nitty gritty or personal details of your relationship, but he or she does need to know that things will be OK again. 

3. Provide Sufficient Information 

One of the most difficult aspects of separation for a child can be the uncertainty that is attached to it. In order to comfort and support your child, you should always prioritise giving them enough information to prepare them for the upcoming changes in their lives. Try to be as truthful as possible when it comes to matters such as where your child will be spending their time during the week and be sure to let them know if there are going to be any other changes in their weekly routine as a result of separation. Whenever possible, it is important that parents try to keep disruptions to a child’s routine to a minimum in order to help them feel as secure as possible in a time where things seem to be entirely out of their control. 

4. Consider Counselling

One of the best ways to make sure your child is well taken care of during a separation is to enlist the help of a professional psychologist or counsellor. There are many services available for young people who are caught in the middle of a separation, some of which include the Supporting Children After Separation programme. 

Seeking help from a professional who has had extensive experience in the field is a great way to not just get kids to open up, but to also equip parents with the skills they need to support a child through separation or divorce. You could even book a family therapy session where you, your spouse and your children can speak your minds freely in a safe space and without the fear of judgement. 

5. Keep Yourself Healthy

Last but not least, keeping yourself healthy and well nourished both physically and mentally is absolutely crucial. For adults, separation and divorce is a highly stressful period of time and pressure can often be amplified by factors such as custody battles, financial issues and property settlement. The best way to support yourself during this trying time is to tap into your support network, turning to family and friends for comfort and assistance. By ensuring that you are taking care of your own needs, you can ensure that you’ll be in the best possible shape to take care of your kids. 

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The truth is separation is never a pleasant experience for families, which is exactly why it is so important that parents do as much as they possibly can to ease the burden on the family. We hope that this article has given you a few helpful ideas on how you can navigate your family through separation in the most harmonious way possible. All the best!