Helping Your Child Cope with Divorce

Life is very cruel sometimes and compels to take harsh and painful decisions; especially if one wants to lead the life on one’s own terms. If your child is a divorcee you have to gather mental strength and try to fix up the situation; this is possible only with your prudence, experience, kindness, patience, love and compassion. First of all, extend all your emotional and moral support to allow the aggrieved to vent out the frozen emotions, with pains, like anger, sorrow, frustrations, hatred, distrust. Listen with love, compassion, empathy till he reconciles with the grim situation. Let him take his own time to do self-analysis, reason out the causes and repercussions, and feel the reality in its true dimension. The wound starts healing leaving behind the scars. Convince him that the life has to go on and it is time for him to think and secure his future. Impress upon him that he need not feel guilty, or ashamed; he has the right to decide how he has to lead the life ahead. Get new life with his new partner, he would do it with more courage and fresh hopes. If your child happens to be a daughter who is not financially independent, it is your duty to educate her, so that she becomes equipped to take up a profession. You have to continuously give her hope, encouragement, confidence, will-power, advice, and counseling and motivate her to be financially- independent. You have to take up the responsibility of making her self-reliant. If she has children you bring the children to your home and you be their foster parents. This gives your daughter, enough time to equip herself; let her become bold to face the realities. This would also reduce her worries about her children and relieve her burden of supporting her children single-handedly. Children would also be safe and secure; they would look forward to their bright future; they would have a clear vision and a clear aim to make their mother happy by their achievement. They would act with more confidence and courage. By this, you rehabilitate the entire family and guide the children with love and affection. These children tend to be very sensitive and fragile and hence you have to be utmost careful not to hurt their sentiments. They might be facing peer pressure; they might also be facing the brunt of social discrimination and mockery. It is a terrible jolt to their self-esteem; some take up addiction and some become violent or even anti-social elements. These children have to be handled with more love and proper care. Once if both the mother and children are old enough to understand and offer emotional support mutually to each other you can distance yourself. Your daughter would also realize that the purpose of her struggle has a depth of meaning and yielded the desired fruits. The understanding, caring, and well behaved children would definitely bring new waves of hopes and fresh thoughts, meaningful expectations, totally a new dimension to her boring and static life. If the person is matured and mentally ready to start a new life, with a new partner, you have to welcome her decision whole-heartedly, to go ahead. Your good will, encouragement and unconditional support would be a strong force behind her action. You have to explain to the children that- everyone has the right to choose his own path; and everyone is entitled to lead a happy fulfilling life. You have to assure that she has a place in your home as well as in your heart; make it clear that she can always seek your advice, help, guidance, love and support. Your positive attitude, bold advice, caring nature, concerned behavior, loving gestures are sure to bring back hope, interest and happiness in life. Your child should be rest assured that she can always lean against your shoulders in times of distress.