Getting Married For The Second Time – Pros & Cons
Life has a way of changing course. Often people marry young, thinking they know exactly what they want and where they are going. Sometimes they opt to travel the road together. But, sometimes they find that they are each on a different path and they decide to end the marriage and follow a new course.
Changing direction is not a bad thing. You are growing. You are discovering who you are and what you want. As you mature as a woman and in your career choice, you find a place of happiness. You open your mind and your heart to finding a partner to share your new life with. Soon you may find yourself planning a new marriage with as many hopes and dreams as you had the first time around, only this time you have a goal in site.
Photo credit: Skye Studios
Pros and Cons of a second wedding
Women are no longer bound by rules that society tries to impose on us. We will not apologize or adapt to conform to someone else’s rules. Your second wedding is totally up to you. In most cases, a bride that has reached this point in her life is not looking to anyone to help pay for the wedding. This is a good thing. People who help with the bills, usually feel they have a voice in the matter. Below, we will list a few of the pros of having your second wedding.
- Bridal gown – Pro
Often a second-time bride will opt for the opposite of what the first wedding was. If they had a huge and formal event with the beautiful white gown, the stunning venue, and the elaborate reception, they may want to scale it down this time. A lovely cocktail dress, more casual bridesmaid dresses, and a smaller venue are acceptable.
If the bride was unable to have a traditional wedding when she was a very young bride, she may want to have the fairytale wedding this time. You can have anything you want. You are the bride and you are mature enough not to allow anyone to speak to what is or is not proper.
- Bridal party
A bride who has been through a first wedding understands that the more people involved, the more issues they will have. In your first wedding, you may have ended up with ten bridesmaids so not to exclude anyone. With your second wedding, you understand that your wedding party can be very large (including everyone) or smaller (best friends or a sister) and it is no reflection on the love you have for someone.
- Honeymoon
Where you go for your honeymoon is affected by how much time you have and how much money you want to spend. You are an established person, so you do not need traditional gifts like a coffee pot or blender. You can take advantage of honeymoon registries which allow your guests to contribute financially to your honeymoon as their wedding gift to you.
Photo credit: Sweet Ice Cream Photography
Cons
- Ex’s
You and your soon to be spouse may have children from a first marriage. Of course, you want to include them in the ceremony. However, ex-wives and ex-husbands are not always cooperative. This is a stressful time and some ex’s just want to be difficult. Do your best to work it out well in advance and do not let it ruin the day. If you perceive a problem, have a plan B (one plan that includes them and one that does not) and avoid putting them in a position that will disrupt the wedding if they do not arrive. Greeters are much less missed than flower-girls.
- Parents and other “last generation” guests
Sometimes parents rain on your parade, just because. They are older and they expect things to be done a certain way. You can ignore them (they will get over it.) Subjects like a destination wedding or a venue that is what they consider ridiculously expensive are best left unexpressed. If you perceive issues, have a small wedding and then have a destination wedding with your friends that enjoy the same things you do.
If this is your second wedding or your fourth, you have a right to have it your way. So do what you love and love what you do and your wedding will be your idea of perfect.