Flirting Techniques: Body Language and Speech

Flirting, that wonderful behavior that puts two people together is a skill that everyone can learn to maximize. Obviously, flirting behavior involves both verbal and non-verbal communication. Essential to successful flirting is learning how to incorporate both of these to achieve success. First, let’s start with the basics.

Eye Contact

• An admiring glance is sufficient to indicate that you are interested.
• Avoid staring since this can appear threatening in a new relationship.
• You do not need to make eye contact continually while talking. Constant eye contact can make the other person nervous.
• When he is speaking, look at him more frequently than you did when you were speaking.

Body Posture

• Tilt head to one side to indicate your interest in what he is saying.
• If you are sitting, refrain from keeping your legs consistently crossed.
• Likewise, if you are sitting, cross and uncross your legs to bring attention to them.
• Refrain from crossing your arms tightly, even if you are nervous.
• Lean slightly towards the person rather than backwards or to the side.

Gestures

• Flip your hair gently to maintain his attention.
• Twirl a small bit of your hair once or twice throughout the conversation. More than that will make you appear nervous.
• Bring your hands up to a small and silent clap in response to something clever that he has said.
• Bring your hand slightly downward to emphasize a point that you have made.
• Slightly extend an open palm to offer an invitation to agree with you.
• Toss your head back gently when you laugh to emphasize your delight.
• Nod your head occasionally to indicate agreement or continued interest, but avoid multiple nods since they can be distracting.

Verbal Communication

• Use a light-hearted banter initially in the conversation to allow both of you time to relax.
• Chat the man up on general subjects initially, until you discover his interests. Then, focus on what he likes.
• Use a tone of voice that isn’t grating on the nerves, too loud for the situation, or too desperate in nature.
• Match your non-verbal cues to your verbal communication.

People tend to notice appearance, body language, and tone of voice prior to the style of speaking and the content of the conversation. Therefore, it isn’t so much what we say but how we say it. The tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, and body posture more than the words spoken indicate interest. The most successful flirt is often the well practiced flirt. Exercise caution, however, when flirting and be safe.